Elderly persons' participation in and decisions about their own care need more attention. The aim of this study was to gain a deeper understanding of elderly persons' experiences of care and help, and how their lives change in nursing homes. Fifteen elderly persons living in four nursing homes were interviewed about their experiences of needing care and help in their daily life. The interviews were analysed using van Manen's phenomenological approach. Elderly persons' experiences of care and help were described as: a balance between sorrow and relief, a struggle to maintain control and connectedness, managing to live in the present and yet worrying about the future, and an attempt to hide one's vulnerability in order to be accepted and create an inner calm in an exposed situation. In conclusion, important issues were raised concerning elderly persons' perspectives on care and help in daily life in nursing homes.