There is not a lot known about what it feels like for autistic people to have a meltdown. Past research has focused on what meltdowns are like for parents and what meltdowns look like from the outside without understanding what it is like for the person having the meltdown. We asked 32 autistic adults about what it is like for them to have a meltdown. We asked them to tell us about their thoughts and feelings about having a meltdown. Then, we looked for themes in their responses that summarized the meltdown experience. Our findings showed that meltdowns hold different meaning to different people. During a meltdown, we found that most autistics described feeling overwhelmed by information, senses, and social and emotional stress. They often felt extreme emotions, such as anger, sadness, and fear, and had trouble with thinking and memory during the meltdown. Participants described trying to stay in control of themselves, often feeling like they were not themselves during meltdowns. They described the meltdown as a way of letting go of or releasing the extreme emotions they felt. Participants tried to stay away from things or people that might trigger a meltdown or tried to make sure they were alone if they felt a meltdown may be coming as a way of avoiding harm-including harm to their bodies, their emotions, and their relationships. These findings offer an important look into what it is like for autistic adults to have meltdowns from their own point of view.
Keywords: autism; challenging behavior; meltdown; qualitative; tantrum.